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Showing posts from May, 2024

On Motivation and divisions of energy

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 I think about writing more and want to but also feel extremely unmotivated to. I guess it isnt just a lack of motivation for writing, simply a lack of motivation overall. Some days I feel like my head is blighted by brain fog that hangs so dense and heavy, simply getting up in the morning is all that I can manage. And other days, medicated ones, perhaps, it feels as though my head is more clear but my limbs feel non-functional. Or is it that my body is up but my mind is still sleeping? It feels like a jumble of all the things that add up to not too much, in terms of productivity. Which is an erroneous place to dwell in when one is chronically ill but there it is. Therefore, I have shifted my mindset somewhat to include the small wins in a day and string them along to splay out a different sort of life. Rather than have a to do list with boxes to check, there are mere suggestions of things to get to, as ability arises. And, once one thing is managed, time for rest is allotted too. To b