Pedalling

I slip on my shoes and wonder what I am doing here at the gym, having missed my cardio class. My trainer is confused since I had texted saying that I wouldn’t make it. But when I sent that text I was eating eggs and thinking about losing a promise I had made myself to be more consistent about going to the gym. So I came anyway.

They say the hardest thing at the gym is just to get in the door and I guess that is a big part of it. 

Until I sit on the spin bike. Then I change my mind. I could get to the gym but could I really do this thing? On this hard seat? And pedalling? But I try it and want to give up right away. I mean, spin bikes aren’t for everyone, right? I could do something else, anything else.

But I watch the speedometer climb—30,40, 50, 55. The music is going and I watch my feet as they work, I smooth my hand on my thighs, the muscles contracting and relaxing in turn. And, as I work, I forget about my discomfort, I forget to watch the seconds tick by, I forget to feel anxious about pedalling.

20 minutes later, I stand up, all the blood rushes back to my ass. But damn if I don’t like it that way.