Thingadailies: Things I love so much

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On Motivation and divisions of energy

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 I think about writing more and want to but also feel extremely unmotivated to. I guess it isnt just a lack of motivation for writing, simply a lack of motivation overall. Some days I feel like my head is blighted by brain fog that hangs so dense and heavy, simply getting up in the morning is all that I can manage. And other days, medicated ones, perhaps, it feels as though my head is more clear but my limbs feel non-functional. Or is it that my body is up but my mind is still sleeping? It feels like a jumble of all the things that add up to not too much, in terms of productivity. Which is an erroneous place to dwell in when one is chronically ill but there it is. Therefore, I have shifted my mindset somewhat to include the small wins in a day and string them along to splay out a different sort of life. Rather than have a to do list with boxes to check, there are mere suggestions of things to get to, as ability arises. And, once one thing is managed, time for rest is allotted too. ...
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Thingadailies 5: Hurt People Struggle to See Themselves

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My lack of/struggle with my identity often makes me feel out of control and child-like, when I wasnt permitted to exert a lot (any?) control over even minor things. I was dressed in boy-ish clothes and given a boy-ish nickname with a boy-ish haircut, in direct contrast with my older sister with the floral name, long hair and dresses. It seems like such an odd thing to be hung up on but to this day, wearing clothes that are floral or feminine gives me pause and I dont feel like they are appropriate for me. I have been making in-roads into my grey, black and blue wardrobe with yellows, pinks, corals and reds, but each purchase has to be made deliberately and with an eye to change, everything just outside my comfort zone. My therapist asked me to complete a self portrait so I could try to figure out a bit more about my identity issues and how those manifest themselves in my nightmares. Ironically, on the same day, I received the gallery photos of my resilience photo shoot from wa...
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