Thingadailies 1: Change

It has been safer to be gray or numb and it is true that what turns hard becomes rigid and is easily shattered. The last year of struggle with mental illness has challenged my coping mechanisms and "safe places" because it turns out that I am truly only harming myself and hiding from the pain instead of sorting it out and finding out the root.

Thingadailies is as good a reason as any for pushing myself beyond this static moment so I will keep on with the art therapy that painting has become. Part meditation, part mindfulness.

And so, the next step is to do more than simply survive. I need to know that the ending of one thing is not the end of all the things, but is simply opening the door to possibilities I had long since discounted as real. Like feeling happiness. Feeling grief. Feeling.